59

Job Nostalgia

The below email which you are about to read was sent a year back (Yay, it’s the anniversary day), It’s my sign off mail from Cognizant Technology Solutions. Why am I sharing it here? Because most of my CTS friends still think I work at Cognizant. (I am sorry guys, I missed a lot of folks while sending the email)

It’s just to make them aware of the scenario. In case, if you have already read it, you can just close the browser tab 🙂 I wouldn’t mind.

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Subject: I’ll be back :$

(Dead) Body:

Yeah you guys guessed it right, today’s my D-Day in Cognizant and my journey here with Cognizant has come to an end. I still remember the day I got the offer letter from CTS. I felt like I’m the king of the world. I was one of the very few guys from our college who got placed.

When I joined CTS, I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m out of bubblegum. So that’s why I am resigning – You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

From my college days, I was passionate about Software Development and I wanted to be in it. At the time of our induction in MEPZ, Chennai I was praying to be nominated for Testing and not Development (which I am still wondering why). And the devil answered my call. My mother always said, life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. And I got into testing. My training days started in ASV Suntech Park. Training days were fun, just like old times. These I would say were the best days of Cognizant and will be always cherished deep in my memories.

Quick side note @Chennai Roommates, CHN11TA032 batch and batch owner – I had one hell-of-a-time.

The Travelers Indemnity Company was my first business unit. When I joined Travelers, I was dumb, stupid and what not. I had no idea about how things work in IT (Testing specifically).Like all other freshers, I started hearing that myth in the BU about the 1st bucket (top rating) – “In any fight, it’s the guy who is willing to die who is gonna win that inch” That means there should not be any margin of error. And I so wanted it. I changed my motto for it – “Do, or do not. There is no try” And I started working my ass off. By this time, I had completed a year in CTS and it was time for my first Appraisal discussion.

Manager – You’re in no position to disagree with me, boy. I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples. Now, get off my plane!”

Post appraisal discussion: I was like – “I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

I wish I knew how to quit. I was still in the pursuit of that 1st Bucket – My Precious, hoping that I would score next time. As you know, hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man crazy.

Meanwhile, I made some awesome friends in Development. I always Kept the testers close, but the developers closer. They always helped me to understand the Inside Job of the application. At times I even had fights with them but all for good – “In Switzerland, they had brotherly love and 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” It’s always good to have some constructive arguments.

Man, this is getting boring, let’s jump a year ahead. It’s time for my 2nd appraisal discussion. “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore. You got the wrong guy; I’m the Dude, man.”. People who know me know that I am a short tempered guy. But I was impressed by the way I handled the entire situation. When I’m good, I’m good, but when I’m bad, I’m even better. And I proved it.

More or less it was the end of a remarkable journey for me in Travelers. It will always have a special place in my Resume for all the tips and tricks I have learnt from the Traveleerians (For people who still think that I fought my way out of Travelers, you are wrong, I didn’t fight with the manager or the lead regarding my rating or promotion. I just had some awesome discussion)

Quick side note @CAMS & Express Test team, Dev team and BA (including managers and leads) – You guys are the best. I will miss you guys.

It was time for me to explore some uncharted territory and thus I hop into Huawei. Another nice mess I’ve gotten into! Just to explain Huawei culture in a line “There is no difference between day and night. They always work.” And with respect to Chinese people in Huawei, I didn’t understand a single word coming out of their mouth. I was guessing it all the time.

I had a short tenure with Huawei, 7-8 months approx. But I would miss the stand-up meetings we had in Leela palace. That was the most fun I’ve ever had without laughing. People used to fight like kids and it was entertaining as hell. The best thing about Huawei were the outings. Drinks were on the house – “Thank you, sir! May I have another! Shaken, not stirred”. Oh, now you are interested. But let’s not get into the detail. >>Let’s fast forward a bit>>

Quick side note @Huawei  tea/sutta gang – I miss you guys too. (I am a little teary eyed now 😛 by the way, I am not drunk)

It was time for the third appraisal. Frankly, my dear, I didn’t give a damn. And the irony was I got “My precious”. But this time I thought I didn’t deserve it and I should move on.  So I moved on.

I had some amazing memories and experiences with Cognizant. Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it. And I always go for the 2nd option. I am and always will be grateful for all your love and respect that I didn’t deserve but always needed. And still after reading all this BULLSHIT if you wish to contact me, please go ahead. Make my day. I am always reachable at 8904167657 or https://www.facebook.com/the.jaidev

Hasta la vista, baby. See you in Hell.

 

P.S. Aah, I wasn’t sleepy yesterday so this is the by-product of my insomnia. Regarding the subject – I’ll be back, I was kidding 😛

J^!|]EV

It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.

INDEX: 11 20

105

Sixth Sense

Disclaimer: This is for you if you are planning to visit India sometime soon. We Indians are already aware of the below situation, so it won’t bother us. I dedicate this to all my countrymen (and especially women)

 

Lately, India has become a hot spot for travelers. It always was and will be, for its spirituality, history, architecture, culture, folk art and adventure (yeah its adventure for them to roam around the streets of India, lol). From my perspective, India is all about the experience. You guys will definitely see something you have never seen, feel something you have never experienced.

And today I am gonna write about of one the most exciting thing you can experience in India. But for that, you need to dride (relax, you won’t find that in the dictionary, I will explain it to you) Most of the tourists don’t ride or drive (dride, see), because if they do, they know they won’t make it out alive. But my suggestion will be to go for it. It will be an awesome experience, like the one you will remember for the rest of your life.

Below are few things to check out when you try driding in India.

  • Lane Discipline – Forget about it. If you see a road divided by white blocks of paint, it’s just an illusion. You are the king; the whole road belongs to you. Who gives a fuck about the drider coming from the opposite direction! Just make yourself at home. We are known for our hospitality.
  • Riding Gear – We have all the 5 gears, including the reverse. Oh! You mean the helmet, yeah it guards our elbow. That’s like the most important part of the body. Who cares about the head?
  • Indicator – Driding is like a game of chess for us. We won’t let each other know our next move. Some of us are aware of the secret switch, the indicator, but we don’t see any point in using them.
  • Honking – Now this is something we love. It’s our favorite pastime in a traffic jam. As soon as the signal turns green, we have a ritual to honk endlessly.
  • Threesome – Few of us are so inclined towards threesome that you will apparently find 3 or more people on a motorcycle. (I am not sure if this increases the stability of the motorcycle or gives them any physical pleasure)
  • Women Driders – This should have been the first point. Always pay attention as soon as you locate women driders in your radar. You never know what’s going to happen next.
  • Bad Roads – Get your eyes inspected before such trip. You need to discover patches of road amid the potholes.
  • Footpath – Consider it as an extended road. No one gives a damn about pedestrians.
  • Crossroads – Look Twice. You might encounter someone (women) driding from the wrong side
  • Night Driving – You should practice the art of driding with a blindfold before trying this. Sounds exciting, huh. Everybody is going to dride towards you with their high-beam on. There is nothing much you can do, just try to keep your eyes open and put your high-beam on (give it back baby)
  • Miscellaneous – If everything goes smooth; a kid, a dog or a cow might emerge in the middle of a highway (most probably on a blind curve, lol). You are dead meat in case you bump into them.

We all know that common sense is very common and the same is applicable for road sense. Our driders have “I don’t give a damn” attitude, and that’s our swag. We don’t even know how to spell – ROAD SENSE

This is how few of us spell it“Abe chenchod kahaan dekh ke chala raha hai” This one sentence is more than enough to describe the road sense in India. Yeah, we don’t give a shit.

 

P.S. Still wanna dride in India; you gotta have that sixth sense installed. In case you wanna buy some, just reach out to any of us, we have our stocks loaded 😛

On a serious note, India is an awesome place to dride. You will have one hell of a time. And I am going to be busy with my job, please don’t be surprised if you don’t find new posts anytime soon.

INDEX: 01 10