110

Paradoxical Disclaimer

Disclaimer: It’s not about you, it’s about me.

 

“I am not what I see when I stand in front of the mirror. I am not what you think; I am not what you see. I am not what you believe me to be. ” – JD

There are days I don’t wanna sleep. I just want to exhaust my playlist and watch movies till I die. Then, there are days I can’t sleep, not because I don’t want to but I just can’t. All sorts of unanswerable questions pop up in my mind. I think, it’s one of those nights. This time, it’s not the GOD or the universe who is keeping me awake; it’s me, who am I?

I am JD. No! That’s just my name. I go by that, people call me by that. It’s just a label to identify me. JD is not me. I am tall, dark, handsome, cool, intellectual, generous, upright, rich and single (it’s my goddamn post and I have the liberty to write 😛 ). But these are just my attributes. It’s not me.

I am a son, a brother, a friend, a lover (ahem, yeah, I love my Motorcycle). I play many roles in my life and I have many more to play. Some day, I will be a husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather (okay, I think I have reached the (E)nd of (T)hinking (C)apacity)

I am an Indian. It’s where I live, prosper and grow. Like every other Indian. I am tagged to a religion but I didn’t choose it. I was born with it. I work for an American corporation as a software engineer, but that’s my job. That’s not me.

I am made of Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Ether. I see, I feel, I hear, I smell, I touch, I taste. I evolved out of an ape. I am a homo sapien (for few ignorant ones, not homosexual, both are very different things). But there are many human beings on this planet earth. I am just another man; one of them. But that’s not who I am.

Then who the “F” am I?

I am everything and everything is a part of me

Do I sound like Morgan Freeman of Bruce Almighty?

I am what I hate

I am what I like

I am the shadow in the light

I am the way I walk

I am how I talk

I am what I wear

I am with whom I sleep

I ‘m my character

I’m my attitude

I’m my experiences

I’m my deeds, I’m my thoughts, I’m my words, I’m what I feel;

I have more to me than meets the eye

Let me reassure you, I am not out of my mind

I can count to 10 and I can walk in a straight line.

 

P.S. Who am I? I don’t give a damn 😀

INDEX: 11 20

152

True Love

Disclaimer: You might break up with your girlfriend or wife after reading this. Please proceed with caution.

 

Oh my chicken
Where have you been all this time
I have been searching in KFC for a while
You are always in my mind

Oh my chicken
I love my chicken

I thought you left me
But I know you never had the balls to leave me
I scrambled your children and ate with bread
But you still don’t consider it as a threat

I will breed you
I will feed you
Please never ever leave me
And I commit, you will always be free 😛

Oh my chicken
I love my chicken

I still remember your breasts
Not as good as your legs
Your wings always fascinate me
But I take your thighs with me

You came and sat on my plate
Just to make me smile
I will never compare you with dove
Boneless or skinless, you are my true love

Oh my chicken
I love my chicken

 

P.S. May your soul R.I.P 😀

INDEX: 11 20

97

Holy Crap

Disclaimer: If you are visiting my blog for the first time, and you land up in this piece of shit, please do not lose hope. I have done better in the past (and will do in the future). Please take a look at it. Thanks! 😀

 

Sitting on the toilet seat

Have been sitting there for quite a bit

Thinking of pizza and cheese

Wondering whether I live to eat

 

When I make that trumpet sound

It smells like fresh meat

Oh it was wonderful to eat

Wish I could eat some meat

 

Pressure builds up like a kiss

It feels really good to piss

And came out a big yellow

Felt smooth like a jello

 

Remembering what I ate last night

Yeah, it was a very good night

Taking a look at the shit

And the shit looks like a ship

 

P.S – This is my first and last attempt at poetry. I beg you; please don’t curse me to death.

INDEX: 01 10